Dear the aggressive fly in my room

Dear the aggressive fly in my room, How are you? Good? Well, it doesn’t seem like. You may be wondering why I have written you this letter. It has a little to do with your aggressive behaviour towards me. In fact. It has EVERYTHING to do with that. What I do not understand is why you…

Mushrooms work incredibly well as umbrellas

“What on earth are you holding?” She asked the man. “What?” He replied. Her eyes moved up, eyes lashes catching tiny droplets as the rain continued to pour. “That,” she pointed. In place of an umbrella he had a large mushroom, the sparkling red top curving in to create a waterfall of water. It was…

The masses used for the few

What gnaws are county Or perhaps our world, Hordes of innocents shaking death’s hand Down in the underworld. Hunger, fear and hate The weak kneeling on the floor, Mobs of tiny hands reaching for escape Yet they can’t seem to reach the door. A horde of bodies Writhing to become a sea, A percent walk…

A cat’s eyes

“Aren’t I beautiful?” Henry, the black and white cat, asked. “Very,” I replied. “Aren’t I wonderful?” Henry asked. Very,” I replied. “Aren’t I your favourite pet?” Henry asked. “Well, I mean… I can’t choose favour – OW!” I screamed, Henry’s claws digging into my leg. “Yes! Yes you are my favourite!” “I knew it!” Henry…

I hate customers 

Woman: A small gingerbread ice cream. Server: Okay. Hands her gingerbread ice cream, woman does not take it. Woman: I said chocolate. Server: You said gingerbread.  Woman: No, a small chocolate. Server: Fine.  Server bins ice cream and makes a chocolate one. Woman’s son: I said gingerbread? Woman: And one gingerbread ice cream.  Server internally…

The Brotherhood of the World Award

Thank you for the mention Emily ! I was super suprised to get this notifaction so I hope by sharing this, and the blogs I love, others will get to experience the excitement I just felt.   What motivated you to start your blog?  Well, I finished university and moved back home… a tiny town in…

Being a woman is terrifying

It’s hard being a woman My first breath already seized, Doctors naming me adorable Chained as they teased. It’s hard wearing skirts When you want to jump, kick and run, A scolding teacher telling you to sit still Whilst boys are allowed to have fun. It’s hard when girls grow up Having to plaster orange…

A British​ loyalty

“Come on Sarah, we’re at a party…” “So?” I ask my friend. “Everyone is drinking…” “As am I.” “You know what I mean,”  she sighed in exasperation. “No, I’m consuming liquid so surely I am also ‘drinking’.” “It’s a party for goodness sake! Have some wine or a vodka and lemonade not… that,” she finished with…

Spit on the face of the ice cream girl

The server hands the woman her whippy (soft ice cream). Server: That is one pound fifty, please. Customer: Ok, well I’m going to come back and pay okay? Server: I’m sorry, what? Customer: I’ll pay later. Server: I still don’t understand? Customer: Why don’t you understand, I’m speaking clear English… you understand English yes? Server…