A sparkling argument between decorations

  “I am the best!” Screamed the cream colour bauble. The sparkling silver star snickered, his tone mocking. “I do not think so.” “Excuse me?” The bauble was astonished, his confidence in his beauty unparallel. “I said, I do not think so.” “HOW DARE YOU!” He screamed. The star laughed, the crackling noise causing the…

Dear the aggressive fly in my room

Dear the aggressive fly in my room, How are you? Good? Well, it doesn’t seem like. You may be wondering why I have written you this letter. It has a little to do with your aggressive behaviour towards me. In fact. It has EVERYTHING to do with that. What I do not understand is why you…

He stared at her duvet fort with distaste

“What are you doing?” He asked. Sandy looked up, her brown eyes clashing with his own, judgemental pupils. “What?” She mocked, eyes squinting at his stupid question. “I think you know what I’m talking about.” Yes, she had made a giant duvet fort with pillows as walls. And yes, her dog had joined her. His floppy…

Mushrooms work incredibly well as umbrellas

“What on earth are you holding?” She asked the man. “What?” He replied. Her eyes moved up, eyes lashes catching tiny droplets as the rain continued to pour. “That,” she pointed. In place of an umbrella he had a large mushroom, the sparkling red top curving in to create a waterfall of water. It was…

Theiving paws during zumba

“I can’t do this, please don’t make me.” Sam begged. “Come on it will be fun!” Ely grabbed her friend’s arm and dragged her inside. The studio smelt of sweat, wooden floor cool against her bare feet. “It won’t.”  “You will be fine, this class is for beginners!” They moved further into the room, a…

A cat’s eyes

“Aren’t I beautiful?” Henry, the black and white cat, asked. “Very,” I replied. “Aren’t I wonderful?” Henry asked. Very,” I replied. “Aren’t I your favourite pet?” Henry asked. “Well, I mean… I can’t choose favour – OW!” I screamed, Henry’s claws digging into my leg. “Yes! Yes you are my favourite!” “I knew it!” Henry…

Chilly waves grasping at paws

“Please don’t do it,” I beg. “I have to!” My dog replies. “You don’t have to, you just want to.” “But it looks like so much fun!” He barks. “It isn’t fun, it’s cold and wet.” I beg. “FUN!” He runs into the freezing sea water, splashing with a wide grin. “Great, thanks for that.”…

I hate customers 

Woman: A small gingerbread ice cream. Server: Okay. Hands her gingerbread ice cream, woman does not take it. Woman: I said chocolate. Server: You said gingerbread.  Woman: No, a small chocolate. Server: Fine.  Server bins ice cream and makes a chocolate one. Woman’s son: I said gingerbread? Woman: And one gingerbread ice cream.  Server internally…

A British​ loyalty

“Come on Sarah, we’re at a party…” “So?” I ask my friend. “Everyone is drinking…” “As am I.” “You know what I mean,”  she sighed in exasperation. “No, I’m consuming liquid so surely I am also ‘drinking’.” “It’s a party for goodness sake! Have some wine or a vodka and lemonade not… that,” she finished with…